IMPORTANT DATES AND THE PERFECT GIFT- Opening Segment

     As I was standing in the checkout line of our local grocery one evening, I noticed a large throng of men, possibly numbering in the hundreds, gathered at the card rack.  “What’s going on?” I asked the clerk.

     “Tomorrow is Mother’s Day,” she answered.

     I knew there was something I had forgotten.  It had been in the back of my mind, but it was so far back that my memory had been unable to reach it.  I immediately dropped everything and ran to join the masses.

      Sweating profusely, I realized there were no more Mother’s Day cards.  That meant I would have to buy a get well card and re-write it to fit the occasion.  Then it crossed my mind that I might need a get well card for myself, possibly even a sympathy card.  I grabbed several cards, along with a bottle of whiteout, and went to find the perfect gift.  My choices were wilted flowers or stale chocolates.  I settled for the cards and whiteout. 

  
      Then I heard the clerk paging me. “Would the gentleman running through the store with the glazed look please return to register three and pick up the items you dropped?  They are blocking the aisle.”       

    With a calendar filled with special occasions, and more waiting to be added, I learned quickly the purpose of marriage.   It’s not to be fruitful and multiply.   It’s to have a wife that will remind you of important dates…”I hope you haven’t forgotten that tomorrow is our anniversary.” 

   

    “Shoot, I thought it was Dead Fly Day.  Just kidding!  How could I forget our anniversary?”  I’d better see if my life insurance is paid up.

  Occasionally a man will stumble upon an important date without being reminded…“Oh! Tomorrow is the beginning of fishing season!  My memory must have made a temporary comeback.”  

Segment 2 coming...check back soon