LET'S PRETEND - Final Segment (Scroll down for earlier segments)


     Unless you get gene therapy, don’t try to be someone you’re not.  Be yourself.  Concentrate on your strengths.  If it’s Alternative Order, be the best. 

    Our son would always leave his clothes on the floor.  Some had been there so long my wife considered using them for mulch.  Before she started spreading them around the garden, she thought she would sneak a little organization into his life.  She brought in Mr. Closet Organizer.  It failed miserably.  He took one look at Justin’s room and suggested we tear out the closet so Justin would have MORE room on the floor for his clothes.  After giving it some thought, I agreed.  I hate looking under clothes on the floor for a shirt, when the shirt is hanging in a closet.  I also wanted to spread several sweaty t-shirts around the garden.   I figured it would drive the weeds further south.   

    I love to watch people pretend; attempting organization when their world is Alternative Order.  Seeing them in action is not a pretty sight.  If they think you’re stopping by their house for a visit, they fly into action: flinging, stuffing, piling, throwing, and sweeping.  By the time you arrive, they have swept so much under the rug, their living room looks like a national landmark.  “Oh, the ‘Indian Mounds,’” you marvel.  “I didn’t realize they were so close.”

    It’s dangerous to pretend in the area of organization.  Remember, it has taken you years to get where you are.  It would take a revolution, not a resolution, to get organized.  Then you wouldn’t be happy; no hardhat area for falling boxes; no newspaper avalanche control; no narrow pathways to circumnavigate.  And look how long it takes you to find something.  It takes time and effort.

     On the other hand, the organized person is really quite lazy.  They don’t want to take the time to look.  They will go right to a tool or important paper, completely shirking the work of an extended and lengthy search.  Is that what you want for your life?

    I think there should be a seminar on “How to Achieve Optimum Chaos, I mean Alternative Order, in your Life.”  I would be more than willing to teach the class, if I could find my notes.  I know they’re here somewhere.  Let me check my pockets.

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