CHRISTMAS DECOR SHOWDOWN - Final segment (Scroll  down for earlier segments)

     On one of Connie’s trips to the store for more lights, she returned with a large box which held inflatable Christmas characters.  “Since we had nothing in the yard, I thought we could add this to our display of nothing,” she said.

     I had a flashback; then staggered backwards, like I had just received a glancing blow to the head.  “I remember this picture as a kid,” I said fearfully.  “I remember Mom wanting more than lights.  She wanted a full nativity scene, with carved, wooden, life-sized figures of the wise men, Mary and Joseph, sheep, cattle, and a cast of thousands.  I had to convince her to save the cast of thousands for the Red Sea crossing, hopefully, after I had left home, and wouldn’t have to direct traffic.

     “No, no; this will be nothing like your childhood experience,” insisted Connie.

     As soon as I started opening the box, I knew we were headed for trouble.  “This one is going to apply to the ‘Box Law,’” I said. 

     “What’s the ‘Box Law’?” Connie asked.

     “What comes out of the original box will only go back into a box twice its size,” I answered.  As soon as something is removed from a box, Alien powers cause its contents to grow.  It’s just part of the Christmas Twilight Zone.”

     Nevertheless, I finally got our inflatable blown up, which left me exhausted and out of breath.  Then I saw the cord and realized I could have plugged it in and achieved the same result.  I also learned that you don’t just blow up an inflatable and seal the hole with a plug.  You have to keep the fan running for them to stay upright.

     Nearby, they actually have a Bah, Humbug tour where you can drive around looking at inflatables lying in people’s yards.  If a neighborhood has a lot of them, they usually asked for a canned food donation. 

     Every year we usually drive around with the kids, enjoying our local Parade of Lights, but one year we decided to try a new approach.  In keeping with Scrooge’s Bah, Humbug spirit, we drove around admiring the homes with no lights.  We called it the Parade of Darkness. 

     “Look! There’s a nice home with no lights.”

     “Grandpa, shine the lights on that house.  I can’t quite see it.”

     “Did a can of soup just hit the car?”

     Bah, Humbug!  This may catch on.

     This past Christmas, while driving home and enjoying our local Trail of Lights (which we call rush hour after dark), I was inspired to add to the Christmas spirit.  I came up with the idea of flashing red and blue headlights.  I thought they were starting to catch on when I saw someone behind me with flashing red and blue lights, only he had his on top of his car.  After discussing our lights, I agreed to drop out of the competition.  In keeping with the Christmas spirit, I complimented him on his lights, and we both enjoyed the holidays.

 

 

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