BARGAIN HAWK - Segment 2 (Scroll down for opening segment)

     Aunt Huginkiss was a Bargain Hawk.  She had a goal…to build a storage empire.  To achieve her goal would require scouting the countryside for sales.  Sales were like a magnet.  I would be riding with her in the car when, without warning, the car would act like it had been sucked off the road by a large, high-powered, car-sucking vacuum; just a swoosh, a little whiplash, and the car would be deposited in front of someone’s yard.   

     “Wow! Was that wind shear?” I asked Aunt Huginkiss.

     “Not at all,” she answered; “just pulling off for a yard sale.”

     “I thought you had a yard.”

     She paid no attention.  She was only interested in being the first person in line for all the bargains. 

     While most people had weather radios so they could receive alerts and keep an eye out for dangerous storms, Aunt Huginkiss had a “Sales” radio that would continually update her on the local sales and give alerts on new sales people might be planning for the following day.

     Every morning, after breakfast, she would jump in her car and roar off, with an ear to her radio, listening for updates, as she prowled stores, streets, back alleys, and coffee shops for insider tips.

     Whether Aunt Huginkiss needed something, or not, was immaterial.  If it was a bargain, it belonged to her.  If she couldn’t use it, a Tibetan monk might need it.

     One day I asked, “Aunt Huginkiss, how did you become a Bargain Hawk?”  

     “The Depression made me do it,” she answered. 

     I was relieved it wasn’t the devil.

     “Why don’t you take medication?” I asked.  “A lot of people suffer from depression.”

     “No,” she answered, “The ‘DEPRESSION.’”

     “You mean when you had to make do with what you had?” I asked.

     “That’s right.”

     “We must be in a depression now,” I went on.  “I told Mom I needed a new teacher, but she said I needed to make do with what I had.”

     Aunt Huginkiss ignored what I was saying, because her radio was crackling with an update.  With no time to spare, she was off for the next bargain.

     On her way to building her empire, Aunt Huginkiss earned a reputation as one of the local Storage Queens.  Her accumulation was legendary. 

 

 

To be continued...check back soon