BARGAIN HAWK - Final segment (Scroll down for earlier segments)

     As her storage empire continued to grow, Aunt Huginkiss’ sister-in-law suggested she have her own yard sale.  This would allow Aunt Huginkiss to reclaim some of her land or, at least, the garage, basement, attic, and two bedrooms. 

    “Share your treasures with others,” said her sister-in-law.  “People will even pay you for them, and I’m sure they would allow you visitation rights.”

     This was a new concept to Aunt Huginkiss.  Although she thought it would serve no useful purpose in life, she decided to try this grand experiment. 

     Her sister-in-law got her counseling and helped her prepare for the big event, possibly attracting national media attention or, at least, some curious relatives and bargain hawks.

     On the morning of the big event, with tension in the air--- and security holding back the first wave of bargain hunters, along with a number of curious relatives, Aunt Huginkiss was ready for the challenge.  As everyone began pushing their way in, they would soon find out if they were ready for Aunt Huginkiss.         

     She loved bargain hunting because it was always in season, and there was never a limit.  She could bag all the junk…I mean bargains she could get into a railroad storage container. 

     Now she was having her own yard sale and she made the rules.  She became a self-appointed yard sale warden. 

     While her sister-in-law looked on in stunned silence, Aunt Huginkiss was doing her best to discourage buyers.  Bargain Hawks faced stiff resistance.  They underwent hours of intense questioning.  “Where did you get this?  I’ve been looking for that.  Who put that out here?  Why do you want this?”

     It was a bargain hunter’s nightmare.  Some likened it to a yard sale concentration camp.  Anyone picking up an item to buy would be confronted by Aunt Huginkiss.  “Do you have a license to hunt here?  You don’t?  Let me see the item you have in your hand.  Looks like you’re over the limit, too.  That will be a fifty dollar fine.  You can pay at the table.” 

     People finally broke down and started putting everything back where they had found it. 

     As everyone began streaming toward their cars, Aunt Huginkiss’ face beamed with pleasure.  Her garage sale looked like it was going to be a huge success.  There had been no sales.  She still had her treasures. 

     At the end of the day, with everything safely back home, Aunt Huginkiss wanted to thank her sister-in-law for her wonderful idea.  But her sister-in-law, who had been rendered speechless just hours earlier, was still looking for words; she couldn’t find any that were available.   

     Thankfully, Aunt Huginkiss, the consummate bargain hawk, was able to get her a great deal with a French speech therapist.

 

 

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