AS THE MIND WANDERS - Opening segment (Scroll down for earlier chapters)


      I love the sounds of spring: April showers dancing on the roof, birds happily singing, my wife and I crashing through the attic, looking to uncover priceless gems that will draw countless thousands or, at least, the neighbors to our annual spring garage sale.

     This spring a real treasure caught my eye.  After a few eye drops, I could see it was my old report cards.  I thought they had mysteriously disappeared in a grass fire years earlier or had floated down an irrigation ditch and were now somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, but there they loomed, like an open cesspool.  I quickly grabbed hold of something so I wouldn’t fall in. 

 

     I had done my best to hide them from my children, not wanting them to know the darker side of my life.  Now I was on the verge of being exposed.  I could lose my credibility as a genius.

     My wife picked up one of my report cards and looked inside. Under comments she read “Has difficulty completing assignments.”

     “I have an excuse…I mean an explanation for that,” I said.  “How can you complete something that’s been swept away in an irrigation ditch or caught in a grass fire?” 

     “That reminds me…did you remember to take out the garbage?” Connie asked.

     “I was going to, but you distracted me with this project,” I answered.

     “Still has difficulty completing assignments,” she muttered to herself.    

     Connie continued to the next comment…”mind wanders.”  “That explains why you had difficulty completing assignments," she went on.  “Your mind was AOL---Always on Leave.”     

     “That wasn’t my fault,” I answered.  “Our school didn’t offer anything in its area of interest.  I tried to get it to stay for Algebra and Biology, but dissecting frogs made it nauseous and algebraic equations caused it to have fainting spells.  It even tried woodshop, but I made it too nervous, being so close to power tools.  Besides, it didn’t enjoy sitting behind a desk.  It preferred roaming free.” 

  

     I was glad I could finally explain my side of the report card.  My teachers always seemed to turn a deaf ear when I tried to explain to them that they were putting my mind at risk, and that I couldn’t be held responsible for any of its actions.


To be continued...check back soon