BOOGER TALES - Segment 4 (Scroll down for earlier segments)

     Now I had to uphold my end of the deal--Obedience Training School.  After one session, I was impressed!  “I should’ve brought Booger,” I thought to myself.  Within an hour, I had learned to “sit.”  Mom would be pleased.  The most difficult session was learning to come when I was called. (My wife says I’m still struggling with that concept).  Like I’ve told her, a dog biscuit is not my idea of a reward. 

     During the final session I learned heeling; walking nicely by Booger’s side.  Mom was getting more than her money’s worth.  I was already learning responsibility.

     Housebreaking Booger was my next goal.  But as soon as I let him in the house, he did the housebreaking.  His tail was a whirling dervish.  The living room became an arcade.  Judging from the WPS, (wags per second) he was determined to knock over as many knick-knacks as possible and win a stuffed bear. 

     After all the effort I had put forth to get a dog, Booger was not starting out on the right paw. 

     Trying to grab knick-knacks and his tail at the same time, I pictured both of us stuffed, hanging side by side over the mantle.     

     With winter fast approaching, our fortunes changed.  Mom said she had postponed our date with the taxidermist.  Booger and I breathed a sigh of relief.  Even though she questioned their existence, Mom hated to see any dog out in the cold.  I hoped for a long, cold winter.       

     It finally happened.  One cold night she said Booger could stay in my room.  Mom carefully guarded her knick-knacks as Booger loped through the living room, happily wagging his tail.    

     Booger hadn’t eaten so Mom gave me his bowl and some hamburger.  “You need to feed that thing,” she said.   I figured eating out of a bowl all the time had to be boring, so I decided to make it fun for Booger.  I rolled up some hamburger into a nice little ball and threw it into the air.  Booger jumped up and grabbed it.   I repeated the procedure.  Same result.  The third time I threw the hamburger too high and, to my amazement, it stuck to the ceiling.  I looked at the meat on the ceiling.   At the same time I thought I heard “responsible ownership” sneaking out the window.  I began throwing little balls of hamburger in the air until the ceiling looked like a meat market.  Hearing Booger whining, Mom came in and saw him looking up, staring at “Hamburger Heaven.”  

To be continued...check back soon