I ran back home to continue my
case. I considered the “everyone has a
dog” strategy, but I knew that wouldn’t work; I wasn’t under the Witness
Protection Program, and I had witnessed too many dogs around the neighborhood
that people were hiding from Mom.
Continuing to methodically
lay out her reasons for not having a dog, Mom’s sound reason was taking a toll
on me. She had me pinned against a
wall. I decided to take a break and
spend some time complaining loudly to friends.
Maybe they could give me some ideas to penetrate her iron-clad logic.
After a couple of weeks rest,
I continued my pursuit of man’s best friend and Mom’s worst enemy. I strongly considered the floor flop
approach. This is where you fall to the
floor, and flop and thrash around wildly, interspersed with moments of loud
wailing, until your Mom says, “Okay, okay, you can have a dog.” Although this approach is very popular, I
decided against it. My back was still
too sore from being pinned against the wall.
Looking for someone with
tremendous wisdom and keen insight, I turned to Ernie’s dad for counsel. “Owning a dog is a big responsibility,” he
said. “It won’t be easy for someone who isn’t responsible.” I didn’t realize Ernie’s dad was so
irrational, so I ignored his out-of-place comment and forged ahead toward my
goal.
Mom’s favorite words were
“Scat,” “Shoo,” and “Get out of here,” but I refused to leave. I was determined to stand my ground until
victory was at hand.
If I used a little sound
reason of my own, I knew I could help mom overcome her blind spot and see the
real joy of pet ownership.
I carefully explained how
caring for a dog would teach me responsibility.
Mom was overcome with mirth. “If
you take care of him like you take care of the parakeets, he’ll starve to
death,” she said.
Not being one to give in to
absolute truth, I resorted to a little adolescent diplomacy…crying,
carrying-on, and threatening to run away. Seeing my level-headed approach, Mom
finally agreed to give it a try. There
was only one stipulation. She insisted
that Obedience Training School be a part of the deal. I grudgingly accepted.
Soon I had a shiny, black,
Labrador retriever. I named him Booger.
To be continued...check back soon
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