CALORIE WARS - Opening Segment (Scroll down for previous chapters.)


       I have always thought it would be great if weight loss was as easy as letting air out of an over-inflated tire; just a brief hissing sound and presto...back at your ideal weight!  But it was never meant to be simple.  It was meant to be warfare. 
  

     With the beginning of a New Year, I’m hearing that familiar battle cry…“This year I’m going to lose weight!”  Prepare for war, because calories will not leave without a fight.  Some of you have fought this battle.  Even I am a war-tested veteran.  

     

      Just the other day, I was out for a walk and became temporarily disoriented.  By the time I got my bearings, I found myself standing in an ice cream shop.  Without warning, I was attacked by a gang of calories.  It may have been two or three gangs.  I tried to fend them off, but I was no match for all of them.  Before I could break free, I had sampled every flavor.  On the way home I watched with a wary eye for another possible ambush.  

  

     In my youth, I could burn a truckload of calories daydreaming.  They were my friends.  I would turn over rocks looking for them.  I could always find them at Grams’.  It was Calorie Central.  “Eat, eat, eat,” she would repeatedly tell my cousins and me.  So we ate, ate, ate…biscuits and gravy, and bacon with an extra side of grease.  Lard was a delicacy.  The calories complained of overcrowding.

       At Grams’, overeating was not just a requirement; it was a tradition.   Anything less gave the family a bad name.  If you could get up from the table under your own power, you hadn’t eaten enough.  That could mean exile to Blue Goose Bucksnort.   I did my part to keep tradition alive.  

To be continued...check back soon