CALORIE WARS - Segment 4 (Scroll down for earlier segments)
I grabbed the rope at both ends, put it behind me, then brought it over my head and jumped. As I was in mid-air, I looked down; there was my stomach. It hadn’t left. In the next instant, my body snapped back like a rubber band, colliding with my stomach with such force that it sent me sprawling. “Are you okay?” asked Ralph, running over to help me pick up all my calories that had spilled on the pavement.
“I think I’ll be okay if you can just carry me into the house, and let me rest in your recliner. Yeah, that’s good. Say, could you turn on the baseball game, and bring me a slice of pizza? I’m feeling much better now.”
With the arrival of winter, I
thought I had escaped any thoughts of exercise.
Then my wife turned on me. You’re
looking a little pale,” she said one day.
“I don’t think you’re getting enough exercise.
“Are you collaborating with
Ralph?” I asked.
“No, not at all,” she answered. “I just thought you would feel better with a
little exercise.”
“Well, I’m not jumping rope.”
“You don’t have to jump
rope. Why don’t you try cross-country
skiing?”
“Okay, okay, maybe. Let me think about it, and I’ll let you know
in July.”
“You know there won’t be any
snow then.”
“I know.
I thought that would be the best time.”
“I still think you would feel
better with some exercise.”
I finally decided to try cross-country skiing. Almost immediately, my color returned. My cheeks were rosy, and the rest of my body was black and blue.
I finally decided to try cross-country skiing. Almost immediately, my color returned. My cheeks were rosy, and the rest of my body was black and blue.
One of the first lessons you
learn when cross-country skiing is how to stop, probably because that’s what
you’re always trying to do. To stop, you
use a method called snowplowing, where you point your toes together, so your
skis form the shape of a “V.” Although
this is intended to slow you down and eventually bring you to a stop, I’ve used
it primarily for clearing obstacles out of my path, such as snow banks, brush,
and other skiers. This may be why they
want to outfit my skis with cleats.
Next they teach you the art
of falling which I picked up quickly, having mastered it years before without
skis. Falling is a remarkably simple
technique, which is normally done in one motion; in the “blink of an eye.” I stand for several seconds before I go into
my fall. After completing the fall, I
check all my body parts. If everything
is still attached, I get up and practice some more, being careful to space my
bruises evenly. Although falls can be
quite repetitious, it will help you master this art.
To be continued...check back soon
