SNAKE SIGNALS - Segment 3 (Scroll down for earlier segments)     


     Our children grew up around garter snakes, and I still can’t convince them that they're harmless.  They're not only harmless; they serve a very useful purpose.  The garter snake helps keep the mouse population down, although they seem to have reached a peace agreement with the mice in our area. 

     Just the sight of a little, harmless snake, crawling through the grass, causes our children to exhibit skills rarely seen in professional athletes.  After several cartwheels, back flips, ricocheting off the side of the house, and jumping a six foot fence, they disappear.  Several days later, I get a call from law enforcement in a neighboring county…”I think we found your children.  They said something about an encounter with a two-headed mutant snake.” 

                   

      Just the other day I asked Justin to mow the lawn.  When I arrived home, he was sitting in front of the television, playing a video game.  The grass was bending over in the wind. 

     “Why haven't you mowed the lawn?” I asked.

     “Snake,” he answered.

     That’s all he says…”Snake.”

      Justin seems to have an innate ability to attract snakes.   They make a mad crawl for our riding mower as soon as they see him walking toward it.  

    As soon as Justin spots one of the snakes, it's showtime.  He begins with a phenomenal flat-footed jump, landing feet first on the seat of the riding mower.  A note of caution:  DON’T try this at home.   Our son has spent years perfecting this move.  Bending over, he starts the mower.  He then proceeds to do a little “soft shoe” as the mower meanders around the yard.  Cars come to a stop along the highway as people get out and start cheering and applauding, thinking he’s practicing for a circus act. 

     Why he hasn't applied for the circus, I don't know.  He's the consummate entertainer, definitely worth the price of admission.   

     Justin finally came up with an elaborate “snake-monitoring” plan.  He said he got the idea from watching the Weather Channel.

     Using my money, he bribes his friend, Zach, to walk the entire mowing area.  If there are no snakes, Zach sticks a green flag in the ground.  This means Justin has the green light to begin mowing.  

      

   If there is the possibility of encountering a snake in the grass during mowing or, possibly, later in the day, while raking the lawn, Zach doesn't worry about sticking a flag in the ground.   This is because Justin is always on “Snake Watch.” 

    When Zach spots a snake in the grass, he sticks a red flag in the ground where he spotted the snake.  This is a “Snake Warning.”  Justin avoids that area.  If there are several red flags throughout the mowing area, Justin immediately seeks shelter in the living room, in front of a video game.  The snakes should pass by within a few days, at which time he can resume his lawn-mowing duties.  Until then, he and Zack fixate themselves in a zombie-like state in front of the television, enjoying their video game.

To be continued...check back soon