DOOLEY - Segment 3 (Scroll down for earlier segments)


     During the reign of Dooley, I learned that cats love the game of “Dodge Car.”  They play the game to increase their speed, agility, quickness, and eye/paw coordination.  The object of the game is to see how long you can stare into the headlights of an oncoming vehicle before scooting to the other side of the road.  To add suspense to the game, you may run into the middle of the road, give a couple good body fakes (one way, then the other), seeing if you can cause the oncoming vehicle to swerve around you.  You get two points for crossing the road and a five point bonus for causing the vehicle to swerve.  If you try the body fake, and the vehicle doesn’t swerve, you lose. Game over. Fortunately, Dooley preferred Catopoly, a cat lover’s version of Monopoly.  (Yes, Catopoly is a real board game.)     

     The longer Dooley ruled, the more I learned about cats.  I discovered from watching a documentary that having a cat is good therapy in the war against aging.  Petting your cat can add several years to your lifespan.  Note: This does not work if you are allergic to cats.  If you experience swollen, red, itchy, watery eyes, nasal congestion, chronic sore throat, coughing, sneezing, wheezing, or loss of life, consult your doctor.  He may advise you to move, and let the cat have the house.  If you experience loss of life, someone else will have to move you.  

     Not being allergic to cats, I was always looking for Dooley so I could get in a few good strokes.  He tried to hide, hoping he would outlive me, and enjoy his remaining years in quiet solitude.   But I refused to give up.  I’d come home for lunch and spend the entire hour petting him.  Then I’d go back to work starving.  If I woke up in the middle of the night, I would pet him.  The more time I spent petting him, the more exhausted I became.  I was aging rapidly.  If I kept this up, the cat would still be around long after I was gone.  I finally decided I would be happy with a very short life.  At least I would outlive the cat, hopefully.

     I also learned that your personality often resembles the personality of your pet.  My wife had suspected this for some time.  “It makes perfect sense,” she said.  “You’re always lying around until you smell food or hear pans rattling around in the kitchen.  Then you instantly snap to attention.  I just hope you don’t start coughing up hairballs.   

     So petting your cat may increase your lifespan, but if you’re going to spend that time coughing up hairballs, you might want to settle for the short life, or live by yourself.   

     If you truly want to know your cat, you need to understand his body language.  This will make you aware of his needs.  For example, if his ears are lying flat, hair standing straight up, tail six times its normal size, he’s in a crouching position with claws extended, and you can hear a hissing sound, it probably means you forgot to feed him, and may be in imminent danger.  At this time, you should begin backing very slowly toward the door, avoiding any quick movements, which could cause him to use your body as a scratching post.  When you get outside, quickly shut the door.  Then look for an open window and throw in a can of food.  He can open it himself.  After he has eaten, ask him if you can come back in if you’ll promise never to forget again.

 

 

To be continued...check back soon