WHEN COWS RULED - Segment 2 (Scroll down for opening segment)

 
Gramps’ cows hated being fenced in while their cousins were roaming the open range, and basking in  the glory of Hollywood westerns.  


Many of them had stomped their hooves on a Hollywood contract, and were now starring in cattle drives with John Wayne.  There was good money in Hollywood, especially if you were one of the leading cows, or a stunt cow. (If you've never seen a cow do a stunt, you've lived a sheltered life.)

       

   These Hollywood celebrities were reaping the rewards of fat cow living: running with John Wayne not far behind, hanging out at the best watering holes, and doing commercials, encouraging everyone to eat more sushi.  This was a far cry from the mundane life of the ranch.

    Gramps finally had to break down and get a TV for the barn so his cows could watch their cousins in the westerns.  They loved the stampedes.  If you walked by the barn, you could hear them yelling, “Go the other way; the other way!”, “Watch the rope!”, “Don’t pay any attention to the dog!”  Another cow would pipe up, “Relax, it’s only a movie.”

    Of course, their cousins would tell them it wasn’t all watering holes and fat cow living.  It was a lot of work, especially with all the re-takes.  The director was always having them line up for another border run…”Okay, let’s do the border run again…and let’s stay together.  If you get separated from the herd, let one of the cowboys find you.  Don’t wander off to some watering hole.  And don’t try to find the border on your own.  You could end up in Vermont.  If you’re not certain which border you’re crossing, ask one of the cowboys.  They’ve got maps; any questions?”